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This year marks a ten-year milestone since the phrase “ghosting” hit the public consciousness. Back then, the concept that someone could suddenly stop contact with a partner without any notice seemed like the height of indignity. We were so innocent. In the 10 years since, navigating toward a partner has only become more bewildering – an frequently unsuccessful endeavor in awkwardness that is increasingly shaped by social media slang.

Generation Z, a cohort who grew up during a social isolation crisis, a male identity reckoning, and a concerted assault on the rights of women and the queer community, faces a far messier terrain than their millennial elders could ever envision. And so their romantic glossary has grown more elaborate and more bizarre, with phrases like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” straining the limits of your mental fortitude.

Below is a comprehensive guide to the terms gen Z is using to talk about romance, sex and the search of both. To echo one of the recent most viral memes, by the end of this glossary you’ll yearn to get back to simpler times – because where that is, it lacks “wokefishing”.

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The Letter A

Authenticity – In the view of Zoomers, dating’s ideal is presenting as your true, unvarnished self. Good luck with that!

The Letter B

Avian theory – A online phenomenon connected to a test developed by relationship scientists, in which you mention something minor – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and note whether your partner’s reaction is engaged or brushed off. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Independent partner – Zoomers' rebuttal to the “quirky fantasy girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking The Smiths and eschewing commitment, the mysterious partner puts herself first while exuding mystery and independence. (She might still have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Chair theory – This signifies choosing someone who helps you without being asked. If you walked into a room, they would fetch a chair for you to sit down.

Task-based bonding – A date where two people bond while doing chores, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how financially strained young adults do affordable dating in a post-cheap-date world.

Crashing out – Losing it when you feel swamped by life. You can lose it over a crush or breakup, venting all of your (unrequited) feelings.

D

DINK – Dual income no kids. Once a marker of 1980s yuppie affluence, it refers to couples who opt out of parenthood to prioritize their own happiness. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Emotional vibe coding – The antithesis of playing it cool: utilizing dialogue, honesty and vulnerability.

F

Flags

• Warning signs – Personal habits indicating a prospective partner is bad news. Examples include calling their former partners crazy, bad tipping habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a new DJ career …
• Positive signs – These quirks confirm your decision to pursue a partner. For instance checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, low screen time, owning a proper bed …
• Odd but harmless traits – These typically describe niche, mostly inoffensive idiosyncrasies. Such as being an keen birdwatcher, still keeping a biro in their wallet, paying the rent in physical money …

Niche bonding – When you meet someone who’s just as obsessive about documentaries about the second world war or DVD collecting or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, meeting someone who loathes the same stuff or people that you do (nothing fosters intimacy faster than sharing a nemesis).

The Letter G

Geese – A band your gen Z boyfriend listens to.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who reappears into your life after a period of ghosting.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is friendly, accommodating and devoted. The uncommon boyfriend who is adored by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's counterpart.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online community of men so preoccupied with self-pleasure that they attempt extended sessions, intentionally delaying orgasm so they can continue as long as possible.

The Letter H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A mindset describing many women's increasing cynicism toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

High-value woman – An archetype touted by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and happily domestic, who seemingly has no goals of her own aside from satisfying her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to see the whole “pessimism” thing better?

The Letter I

Ick factors – Random and often mundane dealbreakers that immediately shut down any sense of interest.

“He would if he cared" – Something to remember after you watch someone else receive an incredibly romantic display.

The Letter J

Careers – These have not been this significant in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “banker” is the ideal partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd opt for partners in fields they see as being staffed by the more caring among us: nurses, educators or therapists.

K

Making out – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has existed for 16 million years. But the era of locking lips may be numbered since some Zoomers desire fewer intimate scenes in film, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find cinematic romance realistic.

Kittenfishing – Mild deception. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your job sound more important than it is. Also known as {